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The Stoned Horror Critic's Review

Summary - Great 4.0

I’m just gonna come out and say it: I love John Carpenter. The guy is one of the greatest filmakers of all time, in my opinion, and has never made a bad movie. And of all his movies, his most underrated has to be Vampires, which has a large cult following, but is still not talked about too much. Even more obscure is it’s sequel, Vampires: Los Muertos, which I believe is one of the best horror films of the 2000s.

Acting - Good 3.0

The main star is Jon Bon Jovi. Um…yeah. I have nothing against the guy, he’s a fine actor, but it’s hard to supress a chuckle when you hear he’s the leading man. Nevertheless, he’s great in this, and it’s actually my favourite performance he’s given, as he plays a sort of Spike Spiegal meets Edgar Frog character here. It’s an odd combimation, but it works very well.

All the others are no names, but all do a great job, and I have no complaints against any of the actors.

Male Stars - Good 3.0

Female Stars - Good 3.0

Female Costars - Good 3.0

Male Costars - Good 3.0

Film - Good 3.0

It’s good enough quality for a 2002 film. At times, it feels like a 1997 film, but the lighting and cinematograghy is very good.

Direction - Good 3.0

Dialogue - Good 3.0

Music - Good 3.0

Visuals - Good 3.0

Edge - Sordid 3.5

Pretty gruesome shit here. It’s certainly not something to play while the kiddies are in the room.

Sex Erotic 3.5

Some very suggestive stuff, a feux seuction scene, an actual seduction scene, and even a slight hint of girl-on-girl. Not too explicit, but suggestive nonetheless.

Violence Brutal 3.5

Very violent. We get vampires exploding, getting burned alive, getting implailed, and other gruesome shit of that sort.

Rudeness Profane 3.0

Eh, we get a few cusses here and there, but nothing too bad.

Reality - Fantasy 5.0

It’s a movie about vampires, what do you expect?

Circumstantial - Fantasy 5.0

Biological - Fantasy 5.0

Physical - Fantasy 5.0

More reviews on Vampires: Los Muertos More reviews by The Stoned Horror Critic

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