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MJ5K's Review

Summary - OK 2.5

This movie is stupid. And I mean S-T-U-P-I-D stupid. The dialogue is ridiculous and the acting is bad. But you know what? Its a hell of a lot of fun!! GI Joe is a fun cheesefest in the tradition of Transformers. Its definately not a cinematic masterpiece, but its fun to watch all the eye candy fly off the screen and come right at. This movie is utterly implausible. That makes sense since it’s based on the 80’s cartoon/comic books of the same name. If you didn’t see it in theatres, check it out on DVD.

Acting - Pretty Bad 1.5

The acting is really bad. Every person was either miscast or not trying. Channing Tatum gave a bland portrayal of Duke. His character and Sienna Miller’s character are supposed to be former lovers, yet when we see them in flashbacks, they have no chemistry. Much of the actors are laughable in their miscast roles. The only actor I actually liked was Joseph Gordon Levvit as Cobra Commander who made a great villain.

Male Stars - Pretty Bad 1.5

Female Stars - Pretty Bad 1.5

Female Costars - Pretty Bad 1.5

Male Costars - Pretty Bad 1.5

Film - Good 3.0

Special effects and action sequences are very exhilirating. In my opinion, they’re the best part of the film.The dialogue is silly and a lot of the in jokes came off to me as lame rehashed 90’s sarcasm.

Direction - Very Good 3.5

Dialogue - Bad 1.0

Music - Really Great 4.5

Visuals - Perfect 5.0

Edge - Risqué 2.0

Lots of violence, but nothing too serious.

Sex Innocent 1.5

Violence Brutal 2.6

Rudeness Salty 1.8

Reality - Fantasy 5.0

Circumstantial - Fantasy 5.0

Biological - Fantasy 5.0

Physical - Fantasy 5.0

1 Comment

  • The Stoned Horror Critic Jan 9, 2010 11:40AM

    Regarding MetalJunky5000’s Review
    Good review man. Yeah, this movie’s stupid, but it’s a lot of fun, lol. Gordon-Levitt was great in this. But, you forgot about Ray Park as Snake Eyes. He was an EXCELLENT CHOICE!!!

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