Wick's Review

Summary - Barely OK 2.0

Deeply unsatisfying, notwithstanding the top-drawer talent that created it, this adaptation of a celebrated novel proves that some books should never make the heavenly transition to the silver screen. Shame on Peter Jackson – the Lord of the Ring himself – for apparently thinking this was a movie where special effects were the critical success factor. Crime stories, even supernatural ones, rise and fall on character development and plausible tension, neither of which succeeded here.

Acting - Good 3.0

Proving the axiom that bad characters are intrinsically more interesting that good ones, only Stanley Tucci’s serial murderer and Susan Sarandon’s alcoholic grandmother rise to greatness. Every other actor delivers replaceable performances, perhaps because they were fated to play unimpeachable characters. Even Saoirse Ronan’s murdered girl falls short of making us empathize with her.

Film - Barely OK 2.0

Peter Jackson must have been attracted to this project because of the opportunity to use his vaunted visual effects talents for the heaven scenes. Bad choice. While the heavenly scenes didn’t detract from the movie and were overly criticized in many reviews, neither did they make what is fundamentally a crime story interesting. Plus, several other scenes that required special effects just didn’t work, e.g., when the murdered girl’s spirit runs past a living girl.

Edge - Risqué 2.0

The movie pulls its punches, lessening its impact. In particular, savage violence is implied, not shown.

Reality - Surreal 2.8

The movie is littered with prosaic reality problems that have nothing to do with a murdered girl looking down from heaven. They all involve a middle-aged man. Here they are, from absurd to merely questionable:

• He apparently builds and furnishes an underground bunker in the middle of a cornfield that doesn’t belong to him and sits near a school, doing so without apparent use of power tools or excavation equipment, after which corn grows on top as if nothing is amiss below. How did the farmer not notice this? Plus, the work effort just isn’t doable.
• He rightly needs help moving a large safe from his car into a dump. How then did he first load this 500 pound object into the car by himself?
• This single man lives across the street from a murdered teen girl and escapes police scrutiny after one interview. Really?
• A smart teenager goes into an underground bunker with him. Even in the seventies, kids were well warned about not going off with strangers.

Bull, bull, bull & bull.

12 Comments

• BrianSez May 22, 2011 2:36PM

  yeah – should have listened! lol

• Wick May 22, 2011 2:31PM

  Told ya it was just OK

• MJ5K Jun 24, 2010 12:07AM

  Haha, thank you.

• Wick Jun 23, 2010 10:37PM

  Regarding MetalJunky5000’s Review
  Tucci “came off as a creepy combination of Jimmy Stewart and Matt Damon’s character in The Informant.” – Great line MJ!

• BrianSez Jun 23, 2010 8:14PM

  Regarding Wick’s Review
  Wow Wick – a tough week for movie reviews! Thanks again for allowing me to save my time with this one!

• Demona Jun 23, 2010 1:14AM

  I did happen to think that the film had a bit of a “What Dreams May Come” feel to it.. but how it was executed was a bit off. I can’t say that the film was BAD but it could’ve been a LOT better. The ending made me feel that though “justice” was served, SHE didn’t get the ending that she deserved, being that she was a 15 yr old girl murdered and dumped. It just didn’t seem right. But that’s just me.

• MJ5K Jun 20, 2010 1:16PM

  Regarding Wick’s Review
  I’m gonna have to agree with you, Wick. I sadly endured this movie a couple months ago and I absolutely loathed it. However, I am yet to review it. I agree with most of the review except for the part about Susan Sarandon. Her character just annoyed me so I guess it wasn’t entirely her fault.

• MJ5K Feb 17, 2010 8:15PM

  Regarding izzio’s Review
  True. Good review, izzio. I guess this won’t be up there with some of Mr. Jackson’s best like LOTR or King Kong.

• Wick Jan 18, 2010 9:58AM

  Regarding izzio’s Review
  Now that I’ve read Izzio’s review, looks like Gosling was wise to get out while the getting was good.

• MJ5K Jan 8, 2010 8:16PM

  Oh yeah, Gosling dropped out because of “artistic difference”

• Wick Jan 7, 2010 10:54PM

  Good catch MJ. That poster looks like it was an early preview. Perhaps Gosling was originally attached and then dropped out. In any case, I’ve updated to the current poster.

• MJ5K Jan 7, 2010 9:36PM

  Haha Wick you may wanna change that poster. Ryan Gosling isn’t in Lovely Bones!

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